It's not easy being a lesbian in a small town, even under the best of circumstances. In the worst of circumstances, you're the only one...which not only makes dating very difficult, but it also makes getting away with anything really tough. You can't just blame, "the OTHER lesbian."
There is also the added pressure that you, by default, end up representing the ENTIRETY of the lesbian kingdom (yes, we have a kingdom)...at least to that particular small town population. There's no messing up. If you do something stupid, or unbecoming, everyone in that small town will think ALL lesbians do that, because they know how "THOSE people are." After all, they knew YOU.
Geez! Talk about needing to straighten up and fly right!
Well, no...that was a really unfortunate way to put it. There's not going to be any "straightening" up. Sorry....my bad...
Anyway, I was lucky enough to live in a town with two and a half lesbians (I say 'and a half' because we couldn't get one to make up her mind, and kept switching back and forth).
The other full-time lesbian looked a lot like me....or I looked a lot like her...whatever....it really made our jobs of maintaining continuous coverage pretty easy. We maintained constant radio contact so we could be careful to not be seen together at the same time in any one particular place.
We didn't want the town to freak out and think they were being inundated, or overrun or something. We just let them use us interchangeably and get us mixed up. We were careful, also, to avoid being photographed together. A few times suspicious townsfolk thought they had caught us with their cell phone cameras, but we were pretty quick, and most of them came out looking like blurry Bigfoot pictures...minus the hair...
Anyway, it was fun, for awhile. But, they eventually did start figuring it out. We did, after all, actually LIVE there, and had to use our real names once in awhile, like at the bank. They were real sticklers about that.
We had to laugh about it, because they really did get us mixed up a lot. More than once my friend told me that she had been walking somewhere, and would hear someone call out, "Hey Jo!"...and she would shout back, "No, you're thinking of the OTHER lesbian!"
The fact that there were only two of us obviously meant that everyone then figured we must be a couple...which we weren't...
We were both working on fully converting the part-time lesbian so we could get a toaster oven.
I mean, duh!
By the way, I'm king of the kingdom...especially when I'm wearing my hiking boots.
No comments:
Post a Comment