Lesbians and Power Tools: Snap On, Snap Off

So, my 'loaner cats' knocked a plastic cup full of iced coffee onto the floor (because cats are a**holes), and it required some clean-up. It was the perfect opportunity for me to pull out the Craftsmane wet/dry shop vac, followed by the Bissell Green Machine Spot Remover, followed by the Dyson Steam Cleaner/Electric Floor Buffer. That, of course, led to the tiniest bit of floor varnish being removed...and so I had no choice but to bring out the sanders, drills, saws, presses, clamps, levels, brushes, sponges, safety harness, goggles, gloves, wrenches, socket set, air compressor, staple gun, hydraulic lift, tack hammer, phillips screwdriver and stud finder necessary to do the job right.

Turns out I totally didn't need the stud-finder.

Lesbians will find any excuse to play with tools...especially POWER TOOLS. I am no exception. What IS exceptional about me is that I have NO idea what I am doing...

But, I don't let little things like a lack of knowledge, or awareness of important safety precautions, get in my way. This often leads to interventions...friends trying to help me (or prevent a fire)...I am blessed with friends who are concerned for my (or their own) well-being.

Many of my friends are lesbians, so most of them know how to use power tools. In fact, many of them have collections of power tools that would make most men envious.

Many lesbians go to Home Depot like straight women go to Neiman Marcus...just to peruse the aisles and "window-shop." A lot of lesbians will go there and actually get the idea to PUT IN a window. Again, any excuse to purchase or break out the tools...

I go to Home Depot to pick up chicks. On a Saturday afternoon, it's second only to a local softball tournament for a high concentration of lesbians in any singular location.

But that's for another entry.

What's really fun is when you get two women with dueling toolboxes. It can get competitve. The old, "my toolbox is bigger than your toolbox" syndrome. We lesbians have to be careful not to leave our partner's feeling...uh...inadequate. It can get scary when the toilet backs up...having nothing to do with the toilet itself.

Lesbians can be sort of competitive. I know some who wear cleats while playing Pictionary.

Anyway, I'm headed out to my backyard with my impact wrench, hydraulic hole press, gutter nail driver, and my new Graco Fusion AP Gunround Adhesive Spatter Gun.

I have a birdfeeder to put up.